I feel like a little kid on Christmas Eve, hiding under my covers with my eyes wide open and my heart racing in anticipation . . . What will Santa bring me? How many more hours do I need to pretend to be asleep? Are those sleighbells?
Tonight is, finally, the vice presidential debate! And my Santa is Joe Biden and if that bastard doesn't bring me the biggest, fattest box full of Sarah Palin's remains, I'm done with holidays!
I realize this is pretty dramatic language, all over a vice presidential debate, but I've had enough of gleaning Palin's positions on everything from Pakistan to abortion in choppy segments of her interviews with Katie Couric and - even worse - some dude's camera phone video that's been supplemented with a transcript. Of course, the McCain camp pressed for a debate format that includes very little one-on-one interactions with her opponent, I'm guessing that Joe Biden isn't going to make her cry (although I've got my fingers crossed), and it's true that her biggest mistake might be looking too much like she "crammed" for the debate, so I guess it could turn into the worst let-down ever. But if I know my pal Sarah, she'll manage to look like the vacant, ignorant "Joe Six-Pack" she claims to represent. Now, I need to go pick up some beer and popcorn and get ready for the show!