No Boobs in Church

In December, the Massachusetts legislature passed "An Act to Promote Breastfeeding," a law that essentially serves to protect a woman's right to nurse - and her child's right to feed - in public. This month, Governor Patrick signed the bill.

Many nursing rights activists, including me, have hailed the law as a step in the right direction. Legal protections of women's rights are critical to achieving equal rights. Without court decisions, Congressional bills, and legislative action, women in this country wouldn't have the right to vote, make reproductive choices, or breastfeed our children in public.

But, as with every "right" that is codified into law, some problems persist. Although the Act allows a woman to collect up to $500 in damages and the possibility of legal fees, I am not convinced that such a small penalty would keep a business owner from making a breastfeeding patron leave her/his establishment.

Even more problematic is the Act's exemption of religious institutions, which can refuse to comply with this law. So if a churchgoing Mama has the audacity to feed her hungry child in a church pew, Father O'Douchebag can toss her out without facing any legal ramifications. I wonder what Jesus would say about that . . .

Unfortunately in Massachusetts, churches and other religious organizations often get a free-pass to treat women like second-class citizens. In this state, employers which are religious institutions don't have to provide coverage for contraception. So if you happen to work as a bookkeeper in a synagogue, a janitor in a church, or even a healthcare professional in a church-owned hospital, your employer does not have to pay for prescriptions used for contraception and, since every contraceptive prescription on the market is consumed by women, employers essentially have the right to refuse to cover women's healthcare.

Beyond the religious exemption, passing a law to protect nursing makes me nervous for another reason. As with the passage of the National Labor Relations Act, which effectively replaced workers' direct actions with the oh-so-powerful tool of collective bargaining (check out the whopping 12% of American workers who are currently organized thanks to the NLRA), is this law going to mean that women in Massachusetts who are treated unfairly for breastfeeding will rely less on their own capacity to stand up and give a business-owner or passerby "what-for" and more on legal adjudication? I hope not.

Oh and if any of you ladies happens into a "place of religious instruction or worhip," I say whip them out and DARE someone to tell you to feed your baby elsewhere!

Private Mal-Practice

Last night, I happened to have been walking by the television at 10pm on my way from my organic indoor garden to my yoga mat, munching on my soy-ice cream bar and relaxing to the smooth sounds of whale mating on my reclaimed Ipod, and there must have been some short in our cable because for some reason I cannot explain, ABC's Private Practice was on.

One of the episode's storylines was about a mother of three boys whose oldest son had autism that she attributed to a vaccine, and whose younger sons were not vaccinated. Of course, the whole point of this back-story is that Middle Son comes down with what ultimately turns out to be a fatal case of Measles, complete with the obligatory "Overinvolved Doctor Who Continues Chest Compressions Long After Patient is Dead" and unnecessary shots of the dead kid, which were disturbing. Despite this, the mom refuses to vaccinate Youngest Son and in a scene I can only imagine some Hollywood writer on a vaccine high thought would seem heroic, Dude Doctor practically jumps Youngest Son to vaccinate him despite the mother's shouts of protest . . . In other scenes, doctors claim that refusing to vaccinate one's child is "child abuse," parents should be turned into the state social services agency when they refuse to vaccinate, and "there's no link" between vaccines and autism.

I'm guessing that Merck - the only manufacturer of the MMR vaccine in the United States - held a private viewing of the episode, because there's nothing a huge drug company loves more than pretty actors saying that if parents really loved their kids, they'd pump their product into them as soon as possible, while the not-so-pretty actors portray the bad parents whose failure to do so killed their kid.

Beyond the obvious argument that vaccines are preventative medicine that pose no danger to children, I also had a major issue with the way the episode dealt with the mom. In response to Dude Doctor's "vaccines don't cause autism" argument, Mom said, "I know what I know" - she'd witnessed her son's change in behavior after he was vaccinated. Yet somehow, her experience and intuition were brushed off as Dude Doctor clung to stats and saved the day by plunging the needle into the youngest kid's arm.

Look, I know this is just a television program (a not-very-well-written program at that), but since I wasted an hour of my life watching it, I figure I can spend a few minutes talking about what utter garbage it is. I'm sure I'm sensitive to the subject since my child hasn't had the MMR vaccine. FD and I have decided to postpone some of Ruby's vaccines, and reject others altogether. This choice wasn't easy, and I think about it nearly every day, but we didn't come to it lightly, and it was an informed decision.

To sum this tirade up: Private Practice is lame, and so is the crazy pro-vaccine movement that wants parents to shelve the research in favor of fear-mongering. I'm not saying I oppose all vaccines - although many of them are unnecessary - but I am arguing that parents ought to go beyond the pamphlet they get in the pediatrician's office or the pushy positions of family and friends, and check out what's in these vaccines (it will shock you) and what the possible side effects are.

(Don't even get me started on how pushing Gardasil is the typical anti-feminist medical approach: Force virtually untested "vaccines" into girls' bodies, then sit back and wait for the fallout. What are the side effects of this vaccine? Who knows! How long will it last? Can't tell! Why are girls' bodies being used as laboratories when a vaccine like this could just as easily be given to boys? Duh, 'cause they're girls!)

If you want more info on childhood vaccines, check out Dr. Sears' website. For another parent's perspective, go here.

Baby's First 2005 Sauvignon Blanc

Ruby and I were playing and she asked for water, so we headed out to the kitchen where FD was making dinner, and I grabbed her glass from the counter where it'd been sitting for a while and gave her a sip. But when I pulled the glass away, she looked at me, scrunched up her nose, and said, "Yucky!"

So I took a sip of the water to see what the problem was and, lo and behold, an oaky bouquet and a hint of lime! My baby was drinking her daddy's glass of wine.

I got my girl drunk. Accidentally. Okay, not drunk, but still accidentally.

The nurses at Ruby's doctor's office took their turns laughing at me and told me that there was nothing to worry about unless she started acting strange. I tried doing a series of sobriety tests, but she doesn't have the ABCs down in the correct order, so getting her to say them in reverse was a no-go. And try getting an 18-month-old to walk a straight line!

A Babe in the Kitchen

So my kid got a pre-Christmas play kitchen from my mom, who dug it out of my brother's basement, where it'd been hanging out since his kids - now 6 and 8 - decided cooking wasn't cool. Ruby loves it. She "wanna cook!" all the time, and so far, she's a pro at making tea, and stew, and cake. She also washes her hands a lot. So I think one major parenting goal has been accomplished.

But I must admit, at first this big, plastic play kitchen scared the hell out of me, largely because it was big and plastic. But also, what would it mean for Ruby to play with a toy that so specifically targets girls and entices them into the cult of domesticity (yeah, there's that 90s college feminist again), that attaches their self-worth to their facility with pots and pans?

When I let a little of my discomfort show, I think my mother rolled her eyes and told me I was being ridiculous, but I can't keep myself from believing that everything Ruby comes into contact with - every toy, every book, every asshole the FD is related to - will shape her. And despite the fact that in our house it's Dad who's the cook and the stay-at-home parent, I can't help but wonder if giving my daughter a kitchen to play with at this young age is going to start the trickle of anti-feminist expectations that I thought I stunted when I recycled (i.e., shredded) a pink, glittery costume with a tiara on it given to me by a coworker before my girl even left the womb!

Ultimately, I think the fact that Mama is a feminist and that FD & I are raising Ruby to be a feminist by indoctrinating her. . . ahem, exposing her to people and places and books and ideas that will assist in that process will mean more than a plastic play kitchen. Plus, Ruby's daddy is a superstar in the kitchen and as someone who loves me a good meal, if Ruby grows up to be a great cook, I'm going to be thrilled for her. . . just as long as she cares more about good food than "dish pan hands."

Emailing a Duggar

I emailed a Duggar. Two Duggars, to be exact. I couldn't help myself.

Here's how the whole thing started...The other night, I was in bed with Monkey. She was passed out at the boob and I was watching TLC. Let's face it - there's nothing that makes you feel better about being in bed at 7 o'clock than watching a family of 20 spend their evenings a-prayin' and a-servin' the Lord. My bed looks pretty good considering those options.

Anyway, I was reminded that Josh (the oldest Duggar kid) proposed to fellow-homeshcooler Anna at a gator-themed Florida restaurant on her birthday with a fistful of mylar balloons and an itty-bitty ring. She said yes, of course, and then - wait for it! - they held hands! Because they were saving their first kiss for their wedding day.

So I got to wondering if those crazy kids tied the knot yet. And maybe I was wondering where they registered. And if they took a financial freedom seminar. After checking out the Duggars.08 website, I came away with these answers:
1. Yep
2. Bed, Bath & Beyond and, obviously, Walmart
3. Oh yeah!

Also on the website are Josh's and Anna's individual biographies, which I found incredibly disappointing because, while they both mentioned their fathers' triumphs or professional "achievements," neither one bothered to say anything about her/his mother. I mean, Michelle Duggar seems to be a joyful, happy woman who lives for nothing but (Jesus and) her kids, and that ungrateful son of hers doesn't even bother to mention Mama. So I emailed him.

Now I don't want to talk about it anymore.

Gloating Now

Alright, so my dude won. He's President-Elect Obama now. And even if my parents aren't happy and my brother probably wrote in "Joe the Plumber" on his ballot, I am very proud of this country for once. I didn't think it had it in it. I kept picturing all those fools who made a big deal about Obama's middle name or African family or "elitist" background or sexy legs (oh wait, that one was me) ruining it for us. But they didn't. So I'm proud.

Next up, we need a big, bad Feminist Broad in the White House!

2016, here we come!

GObama!

I've had to work elections as part of my job for years. Usually it involves poll-watching, phone-banking, or, more often than not, holding a sign in the bitter, bitter cold and rain and sometimes snow. And what do I get for these efforts? Some guy in a thatcher cap offering me a couple of donut holes and a crappy coffee from Dunkin' Donuts. Um, no thank you.

Now I realize that I'm supposed to be focused on the campaign at hand, not the quality of coffee. But it's not like I'm demanding an organic, locally-roasted Americano and a savory scone(although that sounds nice) . This girl would take a Starbucks for god's sakes!

Oh and aside from the coffee issue, there are many important issues at hand tomorrow. In addition to the presidential race - Go Obama! - Massachusetts has three important initiatives on the ballot. Here's how I'm voting (and you should too):

Question 1 Eliminating the State Income Tax: NO!

Question 2 Decriminalizing Marijuana: Oh Yes!

Question 3 Outlawing Greyhound Racing: In honor of our Greyhound, Charlie, Yes!!

Oh, and if you see a woman holding a No on Question 1 sign and looking deperate, do your civic duty and buy her a Starbucks!